We all want to help out new moms. It is even more exciting when it is a family member, or a close friend that just had a little one of their own. And with us already being moms, we are more then eager to share our tips, our tricks, and our stories. There is something that kicks in, we truly want to help. But what is the best way to help these new moms? Here is my list of the top 5 things to do for a new mom:
- Don’t Give Advise– You are going to want to, lets be honest, you will want to with every fiber of your being. You have been there, you know (and understand) what she is going through. But unless she is directly asking you for a specific piece of information, then only offer advice for what she is asking. Anything else is unsolicited and annoying.
- Bring Food– If you are going to be going over to her house, bring food. And not in something that she will have to worry about washing and getting back to you. Remember how hard those first few weeks are? Yup, bring something that is easy to freeze and reheat, then can throw out the container.
- Better Yet Clean- Those first few weeks (or really those first few months) are exhausting. Trying to keep house, is very low on the list of things to do. Offer to help out. If she is uncomfterable letting you help, and she might be. It is hard to let friends help clean the house without feeling guilty or awkward. If you can, or get a group of people together, pay to have a cleaning service come in and clean. Just the basics for her: kitchen, bathrooms and floors. While it is weird to have friends clean up, not many people feel weird about letting a service come in.
- Offer To Take Other Kids Out- It seems like once you have more then one, then the offers to help out get more sparse. A new mom, is a new mom whether it is a first kid or the fourth. For me the more I had, the harder it was. There is no sleeping when baby sleeps, if you are also running around after a toddler. Offer to take the older kids to a movie, for ice cream, just to the park.
- Offer to Babysit– I know what you are thinking, “What new mom wants to go out during those first few weeks?”. That is not what I am talking about. Offer to watch the baby while she is at home. Let your new mom friend get in a shower, take a nap, finish something; while she knows the baby is right there but being taken care of. While you are at it, unload or reload the dishwasher without being asked (or asking if it is ok).
- An Extra One– When you are stopping by, or saying hi, bring over the essentials. No one will ask for them, but what mom doesn’t need more paper towels, baby wipes, diapers, toilet paper. Just bring some by, any new mom will appreciate it. Heck I still tell people if I am mad at them, that bringing by eggs, milk or bread (and some times all three depending on what you did) will solve just about ANY issue.
New moms are notorious for not letting people help. They often say, “I don’t need anything” or “Oh no you don’t have to”, do it any way. It is okay to be a bit pushy, just stay away from being overbearing.
What are some of the things that you have done for a new mom? What do you wish someone would have done for you?